Episode Transcript
Adam O'Leary (00:01.327)
If you're business owner struggling with the fear of public speaking and the lack of confidence in your communication, then our guest, Eduardo Placer is about to give you a simple win you can implement today. Eduardo is a global event EMC keynote speaker and founder of fearless communicators, a global public speaking coaching business. He has worked with presidential candidates, UN diplomats, businesses, and social impact leaders on what they say.
and how they say it. Eduardo, so excited to have you here. This is gonna be such a good episode.
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (00:35.862)
It's a pleasure, Adam. Pleasure, Adam. And I feel like I'm the Oprah of public speaking tips. So everybody look under your chair and you got a tip and you got a tip and you got a tip and you got a tip. So I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go.
Adam O'Leary (00:46.781)
Let's do this, it's be so much fun. So I've heard you discuss how many business owners feel terrified when speaking in public, often leading to disconnection from their audience. So why is shifting the focus from perfection to connection such a powerful solution for overcoming this fear?
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (01:09.07)
interesting. I do this exercise all over the
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (01:17.858)
which is that 76 % of people suffer from speech anxiety, and I believe everybody else lies. So the very fact that you're feeling something just means that you're alive, and I think it also means that you care. So the first thing that I think we need to do is we need to normalize that people have feelings and they're having some type of emotional response to the event of speaking. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing to fix.
The issue is that what we have is this energy and no one trains us on what to do with that energy. So that energy can be very overwhelming. And I think at the root of it for many people is that what they do is they project their fear or limiting beliefs about themselves into their audience. So they're actually the filter of their communication, I would say is fear or shame or self-doubt.
And I'll give you a quick example. for me, growing up in Miami, Florida, I would say that my fear of public speaking, and again, I'm a professional public speaking coach. My business is called Fearless Communicators. At the root of it is my own personal story. Right? I was in second grade at Show and Tell at Pinewood Acres Elementary School in Miami, Florida, clutching my stuffed animal seal. And I marched to the front of the class and I said something magical like, seals are mammals. They live in the water. They eat fish. Sometimes they're eaten by sharks.
And I thought if there was a Tony Award for best second grade show and tell, clearly I was gonna be the winner. And when I realized that my classmates weren't interested, what I did is I just said that I named him after someone in the class. And what I did is I said the name of the boy that I had a crush on in second grade in Miami, Florida in 1986, and it didn't go well. And that was the first time that I tasted terror in my mouth. And I think that what happens is...
Like you say, you mispronounce something, you know, and people laugh at you, or you have a parent or an uncle or a cousin or a teacher that says, well, that's stupid or that's dumb. You know, I have a client of mine who, when she was in eighth grade, she was in a class, she answered the question and the teacher said to her, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Are you autistic?
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (03:36.886)
And it took her being in her thirties in a master's program at Columbia University to say, I'm smart. Right? So there's this part of us that experiences at some formative time in our life. Like it's safe to be self-expressed, it's self to speak out, it's safe. And then all of a sudden there's this awareness, this presence, this sense or feeling of danger.
And then we internalize that. then now that becomes the feelings that we have, the energy that we're feeling is in many ways a source of protection.
And as far as I can probably tell myself and no one in your audience went to Hogwarts, you know, studied mind reading. So we have no idea what's going on in people's heads. And what if we, what we can do is we can create a different context for our speaking that is not about what we fear our audience is thinking about us, but instead about the difference that we want to
make for our audience. So what happens is the filter of our communication shifts from being a me speaker to a we speaker. And I think that that's where the opportunity is to want to connect, which is about my audience, as opposed to wanting to be perfect, which is about me. The audience doesn't care about your perfection or your perfectionism. Frankly, nobody cares about your perfection or your perfectionism. That's a you game.
And you can take that up with your therapist. I think what an audience wants is you to show up and make a difference for them. And I think with that energy, an audience is willing to forgive a minor miss speaking moment or, you know, a technical glitch or whatever. Can we grace ourselves and bless ourselves with the opportunity of just showing up exactly as we are?
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (05:44.248)
with a commitment to show up in the highest service. And I think that that is an energy that an audience really responds to.
Adam O'Leary (05:52.261)
I love that and just thinking out loud, one of the things that I know a business owner would really kind of need to focus on or at least a simple win that they could probably do is to have like an anchor story or something along those lines. Can you kind of explain what an anchor story is and just kind of how that works?
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (06:06.894)
Yeah.
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (06:12.984)
Well, I just gave it to you. I just shared it with you. Second grade, show and tell, Pinewood Acres Elementary School. So an anchor story, I define as a story from a formative moment in your life that defines why and how you're drawn to do the work that you do in the world. And that work can be like the literal job or career that you have, but it could also be a quality that defines how you show up in your work or what you're passionate about.
And what I love about an anchor story is that, I mean, you can start a story when the moment you like, and then I was sitting in a college class and I decided blah, blah, blah. Or, you know, I went for a job interview and then I got the job. And that's a little obvious, right? Clearly that's when the trajectory started. But I think what's really powerful about an anchor story is that when you invite us into a formative time of your life, like second grade or fifth grade,
or eighth grade, like everyone anywhere in the world had to walk into a classroom on the first day of school and had to figure out where they were gonna sit. Or they were on some type of recess playground and there was some type of picking for a team. Or you you had to give a presentation in class.
Or you had to find a seat in a cafeteria. There's something about that world that is easy for us to come into. And what happens is when we share those stories, you end up communicating parts of your life that an audience may not necessarily know or understand. So you just met me. What I shared for you with you in that story is location. I'm from Miami, Florida. So I was in school in Miami, Florida.
I was in second grade in 1986, so I'm also giving you like a timeframe, right? So for people who are around my age or like people can anchor me geographically, they can anchor me in a timeframe. They can understand kind of my age. You know, I talk about a class that I'm in, they're 12 people, so it's a small class. It feels like 50, you know? And then I also communicate and I tell you something about myself, which is that I'm a gay man. I didn't have the identity of being gay at 12, but I did.
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (08:36.088)
have a crush on someone and I have the courage to say their name in a place and a time. First of all, it's never safe to say anybody's crush, gay or straight or whatever in second grade. Like you don't want to communicate that. So what it does is invites an audience into a world where they're not just thinking you, what they're doing is they're feeling you. And it is an opening for connection.
So what an anchor story is doing is it's lobbing connectors to an audience so that they can think, I know where you are. I'm not from Miami, but I've been to Miami. You know, I also had a show and tell, not in second grade, but it was in kindergarten. You know, I also said something that I shouldn't have said, you know, when I was in school. Like it wasn't the name of somebody I had a crush on, but I said Françoise instead of Francois, you know.
So again, there, it's not, what people think is that the more general I am, the more people can locate themselves in my story. And it's actually the opposite. The more laser specific you are, the more people are able to locate themselves and find those lobs and forms of connection.
Adam O'Leary (09:54.244)
I love this. And what you're doing here is it's relatable. And I think that's the key thing is that when you talk about, for example, that example that you just were saying like, yeah, I got this job and I realized I love data entry, right? Like it's not relatable, right? It's super boring. But when you start talking about stories, especially from your childhood or private moments in your life, it really opens you up as a person. And I think that's one of the keys is the concept of connection.
And I really just kind of wanted to point that out is that when you share that story, it's something that I can connect with you over as opposed to understand who you are. And I guess for somebody who's listening to this, how can they go about creating that story in a way that doesn't feel forced? Because I think some people, especially entrepreneurs, were very logical. So it's like, okay, everything has to have a purpose. How do you go about
creating that where it creates that connection, creates that empathy with somebody else.
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (11:00.334)
So here's some tricks. Number one, people love the world of entrepreneurship, which I have been in also as an entrepreneur for 10 years. People love to drop the word story in storytelling like a buzzword. Most people are not telling stories. They're talking about themselves or they're time-lining or they're sharing their bio. But that's not a story. A story has a clear beginning, a middle, and an end, right? And in the story, there is some type of transformation.
The world looked a certain way, something happened, and now the world looks a different way. Right? So if you notice, when I shared the story, I didn't tell you...
You know, I was born in Miami, Florida, and then I'm the child of Cuban immigrants and refugees. And then, you know, I went to elementary school and then I went to college and then I became an actor. And then when I was in, in grad school, I taught public speaking to undergrads. And then after 10 years, 15 years of being a professional actor, wanted to make a difference. And now I become, I launched my public speaking coaching business. What I just did is I gave you a timeline.
of my entire life. Which is one way.
The power of the anchor story, if you notice, is it takes me to a very specific moment, which is one day in second grade at Pinewood Acres Elementary School in Miami, Florida, when I stood up in front of my classmates and I spoke courageously, I spoke the truth, and the world around me wasn't ready for me to speak honestly and or speak the truth.
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (12:47.02)
And that is a profoundly relatable human experience. Right. And was also the birth, like the conscious beginning of a fear and terror that I experienced around speaking. So let's take your data entry person for example, right? So a data entry person like, well, you know, I've always loved math, you know, and I love data, you know, so, I went to
school and I studied data and then I went to college and I studied data and then I went to college and then I got a master's in data. There's a way that that also feels very like okay very linear but what about like being you know like really loving like from a from a very early age you've always loved puzzles.
And like maybe there was like one day that you were competing, like you and your parent or a sibling were competing in some puzzle exercise or whatever. Or maybe it's like a Rubik's Cube. Again, I'm making it up. And you beat maybe the oldest kid in the, in the, in the, you were in third grade and they were in sixth grade and you won in the competition. And you're like, wow, I'm really good at this. Or there's...
some problem that you solved or there's something that you read or a program that you watched or something that came really easy to you and then you were like, wow, I'm really good at this and there was some recognition at a very formative time in your life that all of a sudden it's like that moment when you realize I'm really great at something and I'm going to fuel that. And that sparks a journey and a career I think is a very powerful
moment to connect us to the feeling, not just the execution of it, but the feeling of that spark. And then what happens is when I invite you to see second grade Eduardo, you see 48 year old Eduardo, but you also see second grade Eduardo. And it's, who doesn't love a second grader?
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (15:01.312)
Right? It's like you invite us in to see little you and little you gets to show up. And it's like we start loving that little you. Right? And you invite us into little you and now big you. And we kind of like we do the math of all the other pieces of it. Like we don't need to know all those milestones. If we understand the spark, now we understand the human being that we see in front of us. And I think that it is.
surprising, it's unexpected, it's playful, and again, that is what has people feel you and not just think you.
Adam O'Leary (15:38.564)
Absolutely and one thing I was just thinking there is that so to have that anchor story is super important So my background when I first started doing sales online is I was doing webinars So I it was webinars is basically a 60 minute story. It's basically what it is You're just constantly looping stories and I'm curious. Do you have just one story or when you're talking to different people? Do you have different types of anchor stories?
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (16:06.248)
there's definitely one anchor story as to why I run my, why I started Fearless Communicators, a public speaking coaching business. And I, that is second grade show and tell. I have, and that's like the gift that keeps giving. Like if you have a really great story, people are like, I want to hear that story again. it's like a bedtime story. It's comforting to people. Right?
Adam O'Leary (16:08.763)
Mm-hmm.
Adam O'Leary (16:21.659)
Mm.
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (16:31.47)
I think that you as a, a, as a entrepreneur, business owner, et cetera, you want to have a, a Rolodex of stories. There are different types of stories that you would tell. And notice that there's the difference between the story that I'm telling that's an anchor story as to why I'm running the business and the founder story about when I started the business. That's a different type of story that you would tell. Right.
There's a different type of story that you would tell, which is a story that communicates the impact that you've made in your business. And depending on the avatar of your ideal client or the type of product that you sell, you have different types of stories that would then be able to communicate to the listener that they see themselves, they see that pain point in that story. So now they can envision themselves having that transformation that you've been able to provide. Again, at the core of that is effective storytelling.
right? Which is again, not about getting it right, but it's about the audience seeing yourselves in the story. And I'm going to share with you, you my background is the theater. So I was a stage actor for 15 years. You know, I did almost 40 productions. I was a repertory company actor, Shakespeare musical theater, the whole gamut. And theater comes from the ancient Greek, which means a place for seeing.
So yes, when I go to the theater, I'm going to watch a story being told by a company of actors, and I'm gonna go see a story. I'm gonna go see a play. I'm gonna go see an opera or whatever. But really what it is is a mirror. What you go there to do is to see yourself. That's what the story is. The story is a mirror.
It is a chance for an audience to witness and see themselves in the story that is being shared and told. And I think that that is your job as a storyteller in the work that you are doing. Who you are ultimately is a mirror and the opportunity is always for people to see themselves reflected in the stories that you're sharing. So that I say the story is not about you. The story is through you.
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (18:46.638)
The story is in itself a parable. It is a fable. is, there is what happened to you and then there's the story. You as a storyteller can pick and choose the pieces that you want to share. Like you don't have, and this is where we get a little, where we feel understand the technique of storytelling. What they do is they event dump and they're like, and then that's like verbally processing. That's like having a conversation with my mother.
I was sitting having coffee, it was a great coffee, was a latte, but it was pumpkin latte because it's a fall and I love a pumpkin latte. And then my best friend called me and I'm like, we had this great conversation and then we walked at the beach and I was like, I was having a time in Miami, but I'm not in Miami, I'm in Milton and I'm having a great time and I had to go to the car and I to go to the Apple store and you're like, what are you talking about?
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (19:26.804)
And to your own self be true, if you're listening, like, my God, that's me talking, you know, about my work or my business. You know, there is, there is a technique to storytelling. There is an arc to a story. There is the way that I define story is the events that a storyteller chooses to weave together to illuminate a type of meaning for an audience. So a story is a meaning making tool that we have as human beings.
Right? And you as a storyteller, depending on the events that you weave together, the story will mean different things. So you have to have the intention of how am I blocking and piecing these events together so that two plus two equals four. So that an audience says, I see why you put those pieces together and now I understand. Right? And I think that that is the power of the craft of storytelling.
Adam O'Leary (20:26.958)
You're amazing. You have me in stitches. Where should people go to learn more about you? I mean seriously every founder, probably everybody inside of a company needs to learn to tell stories at one point in time. So everybody listening, please go check out Eduardo. Where do they check you out?
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (20:46.542)
So the best place, our website is www.fearlesscommunicators.com. They can also connect with me on LinkedIn. I think that's how you reached out to me, Adam. So I love a LinkedIn. I'm very active on LinkedIn. So please connect with me on LinkedIn. And then I have a gift for all of your listeners, Adam. So I'm not coming empty handed. But I wanna come back to this idea around the...
the fear and anxiety that people feel around public speaking. And more often than not, what happens is that people are not primed to speak, they are speaking cold. And any high-performance athlete, Olympic athlete, and speaking is a physical exercise, it is not just an intellectual one, need some type of pre...
speaking ritual, specifically those three to five minutes before you go live. And I have a resource for everyone. It's called Go for the Gold. And it's my gift to everyone. And it's about centering your body, lowering that that nervous system, fight flight kind of response so that you are not warming up when you're speaking, but that you're already warmed up when the camera's on.
when you walk on that stage and you're fully present and ready to deliver your message. that is my gift to everyone as a way to also think of me as like Jiminy Cricket on their shoulder saying, you've got it. You have everything that you need, you know, and go for the gold.
Adam O'Leary (22:21.965)
Eduardo, you're fantastic. Thank you so much for joining me today. This has been such a good, conversation. Absolutely. Well guys, thank you so much for listening and I will see you on the next episode of Simple Wins.
Eduardo Placer (he/him) (22:27.82)
You're welcome, Adam. Thank you.
